look around

I look around me again to see the faces I saw for the past 3 years. the jae-ded-ness in their eyes. people not talking to people that they were once familiar with at a point in their academic lives. it further saddens me to how a society can be this fake and yet thrive. wicked isnt it? maybe one of the readers here can enlighten me... for i am jae-ded. is this considered fake then? or is it just a sign of people getting too wary of others? preventing themselves from getting their egos hurt?

Mark's class is making me worry about my past entries about some specific people. maybe its time to delete them? haha. SIM.

in closing..... an beginning

as this chapter closes. wickedness surrounds. things that are left untold have surfaced to light and has undone what has been tigthened for so long.

happy for he is not as he is jae-ded. sad for he is neither as he is numb. ditched the piece he did not for he has given up.

feather it is for now till the next torrent comes.

wicked times shrouds as the inevitable period approaches. but light shall prevail with the fellowship that is formed.

...

I wonder how fake can things get. how mindfucked can i get. nightmares even. god. help me end this.



anyway loof was great. all thanks to danny. we even had the 'I "heart" FYP' badge.



i was thinking about all the cliques in school. and i wonder why there seemed to be so much differences between everyone. i mean all of us are in our early 20s already. and its not like we have not seen enough movies or experiences with other people. WHY AREN'T PEOPLE TALKING TO PEOPLE? even after 3 years of education and after seeing everyone else in school for the past 3 years.



yes there is bad blood between some people. but why the silence even when there is no bad blood? why am i not talking to stanley in school? why is almost everyone not talking to samantha in school? and even nathan. I cant help but think that the school is filled with alot of ego pple. Not that they are bad people, you know. being egotistical doesnt mean u are a mean person. like i myself admit that i have an ego. and maybe thats the reason why i dont talk to some people. oh well. i promise to be better from now on. hope you will too.



schools going to be challenging this sem. too all you fellow mates. strive on. and we all know... we love FYP!! :P

1st day of sch

i wld say its bad.
had to meet after 4 months. silence is deafening.

SG again

I am beginning to feel the toll of flying too much. that means i am not suited to be an air steward. haha.

well well. now i finally know my roots that i am based in Guangzhou and that my grand father's relatives have already dissappered from this world. i feel more rooted.

the next would be the trip back to taiwan to take a look at my mum's side of the equation.

life takes a stand still as we take it in to enjoy the times when we chill. its not too bad. but slacking too long and not doing shit IS shit. so i've gotta start moving my ass around more.

do unto others what they do to you? feel what they feel.

once again... ... rantings

well well. its been a long time. now i am back in singapore, but tomorrow i am going back to Guangzhou with my dad to search for our relatives. haha. well well. its going to be yet another trip to middle kingdom.

reading my previous posts.... i realise angst is such a stupid feeling that anyone shouldbe feeling. but hey, if we never did felt angsty then.... we wouldnt know how sweet happiness is. right!?

like if we never felt pain... we wouldnt know how good being pain free feels ... right? haha. yeap.
or like if we never had diarrhea we wouldnt appreciate normal bowel movements. as discussed with whye. haha. :)

oh. i love singapore.

Erase by Concave Scream

Sitting there watching the sun goes down

Think of u by my side

Asking myself

To die after time

Is there nothing

I can' do right

*I don't know what's best to say

It always end it the same way

I don't know if I've been okay

Please forgive me if I can fly

All these faces

Faces Passing by

It's about to say goodbye

*

** I'm not what used to be

I am lost in reality

I had enough of killing time

Now I run towards the unknown

I can't help but wonder

About all the things I leave behind

So dry your tears tonight

Baby please don't ask me why

*

**

local band concave scream. nice emo sad song. listen to it everytime. peeps go and have a listen to support singapore's local band. they're wicked.

Everybody Is Someone

Lifehouse - Everybody is someone

stumbling I fall away it's hard to make a change
easy to be who you are when no one knows your name
walking past the lonely walls with eyes as cold as stone
climb inside the emptiness it's safe when you're alone

don't be alarmed
don't be afraid of what you are
just look around
everybody is someone
everybody is someone

all this time you lived alone without a memory
built your life upon the ground that sinks beneath your feet
step outside the misery for once you feel alive
second chances only come around once in a life

don't be alarmed
don't be afraid of what you are
just turn aroundeverybody is someone
everybody is someonedon't be alarmed
don't be afraid of what you are
just turn around
everybody is someone
everybody is someone

don't be alarmed
don't be afraid of what you are
just look around
everybody is someone
everybody is someone


Ultimate respect song for people around. some people just don't have this.

BS

I am giving up.

hope is a good word.

but now its not. ship pal. na nuen michotso. na himduru juke. no don care.

hope the call goes well.

hope

China Part X

This is the mole man by the roadside that left me a 3 yuan scar on my left wrist. haha. i tried to remove another for 5 yuan at a more decent beauty shop and it cleared with no scars. never trust roadside stores in china. lucky i never did the removal immediatel for my mole on my face. phew.
I just tot it was really funny to see a guy in the office with his head in the ceiling. reminds me of that jim carrey movie. bruce almighty. haha.

I had cow's throat for steamboat and cow stomach too. god cow throat has no taste, it was really crunchy and its yellow. in chinese it is called 黄喉。 well maybe cos i took a bite and flushed it down with coke. haha. it was huang guo and annie's birthday.

There was a company employment drive a few weeks back and 2000 people came to apply for jobs with the company it was crazy. I was doing english oral assessment for more than 120 people. it was so bloody tiring. and the worst part was. none were of worthy mention. it was so so so tiring. god. From here you could see how much chinese people wanna work for this company. god. i guess it really is a prestigious company to the locals.

I was eatin dinner about a few weeks back and there was this extremely cute baby. babies here seem to have pink chubby cheeks. most of them do at least. hehe. kawaii.

i think blogspot is blocked in china

well well. i think blogspot is blocked in china. sometimes i can get thru while sometimes i cant. oh well. nontheless. people i hope all of you are doing fine. people in korea , hope you are doing great. people in thailand, i miss you all. ozzies, i wish i was there with you. americans, i hope to see you soon. malaysians, i Will see you soon. sg peeps, i'll be back. and u, i will you you soon. :)
lots of love. Jae.

hk pics

blogspot banned in china. haha.

nothing much so far. emptiness.
but hongkong was fantastic. heaven for girls to shop and shop. love honkong. amazing place. met sandy there. and her bunch of friends, kimmy, bozai, yy and eva. yeap. i walked from mongkok to tsim sa tsui. haha. information overload!!!! and i caught 300! freaking awesome show. those that havent watched it please watch on big screen. no laptop viewing. u are killing urself off the pleasure. peace out.
i want to talk to stupid girl.

cny almost ending.

Ok. basically cny in china means everyone is the office acts like they are busy while they are not, or they are busy but they dont feel like busying themselves. no one is in the mood for work. hahaha! the world paralyses for two entire weeks. haha. at work at least. i got alot of sweets on my table (apart from all the paper, calendar, my two phones, my id card, my wallet, my cup, my desktop, my laptop,) AND HAZELNUTS! with the shell. its the first time i am eating hazelnuts from the shell. i have to bite it open. bet all ur singapore city dwellers have never seen this sh*t. haha. wicked stuff. tastes really good.

and then just a few days back i was walking around da chong area and they had the kind line dancing in the neighourhood. same as sg but they charge an entry fee of 1rmb. yeah. they had alot of people looking beyond the fence and some pple dancing arnd. its nice to see such stuff. and then i played the carnival shooting thing. the air rifle was quite "zhun" i paid 5rmb for 5 shots. i only felt 2 shots being shot out of the rifle. haha. but i got one soft toy down. yeah. but i figureed i got no use for it and gave it to a girl who was looking at it like some meat. oh well.

then i took pictures with jiping anf yuanwei. cool pple from my department. yeah . cheers

CNY

CNY was great at home. saw dad mum bro and bro. haha. met a few pple. spent alot of time wandering arnd when the others are interning. Waited for baby alot. longest time 8 hours. haha. the view is quite shitty eh. anyway I pray at this place near mandalay road every CNY on the 5th day of cny. We call him the "chan lou xi" teacher chan. i always go and without knowing the reason why. I guess its time i question why i go there. only after 24 yearS! oh man, till now i still dunno the reason why. but it is always a body cleansing experience when i step in. its as if i steped back in time to 1970s trust me. it will be a place that is soon forgotten by our generation. ... unless we do something about it. hey ebm pple, you guys might be interested to pick this up. good content. really.

pre cny.

the race track photo was from the previous time when i spent my birthday weekend at the karting place. yeah.

the pic where i looked goofy was taken when i had a good dinner at this certain resturant with haitao for lke only 20 sing dollars haha. wicked wicked.

my area celebrated chinese new year too. on the eve of CNY, i was looking for something to eat before i go tot he airport for my flight. it was really quite a soothing experience alone. for the first time i am away from friends and family in a land where i know not anyone really close. i saw the lights under my block that was quite nice. then i went to this restaurant where i saw other families having their reunion dinner with good food and stuff. I had my bowl of meat noodles and was off to beatuiful singapore. i miss home.. haha.

the wicked sunday

GOD. GUess what. I went for GoKart racing. haha! the cornering at 80km/h at 10 cm above the road is freaking awesome.!!! wahaha. the G force is amazing too@!!!
lessons learnt: 1. make sure u reach early to check out the good wheels and choose the right Kart for your turn. if not u end up spinning like a MF on the tracks. not because my driving suck. but I was pushing the limit to NOT brake when I corner and instead step on the throttle@@@!!! hahaha.

wicked wicked wicked. an 80cc engine going at about 80km/h. 10minutes at 60Yuan. I think it is well worth it. haha.
cheers.

wicked weekend it is. adrenaline rush rush rush rush rush.

I was there with gareth(michael's best mate here) and michael of cos. haha. and mike is good. unbeaten record. aha. chll mate.

part 3